Copyright © 2007-2010 All rights reserved.
They have a great need to control others as a means of trying to control themselves because they have no sense of where they end and the other person begins. They often exercise this need to control everyone and every thing around them (the environment even where possible) through passive aggressive behavior and manipulation.
You need to aware that behind the borderline's (seemingly) intense caring for another person can be a hidden need for power and control that has its roots in trying to re-do their pasts and in trying to resolve old unresolved wounds from childhood usually in relation to one or both parents. This is the same power drive that underlies all addictions. The non borderline, in response, all-too-often gives up his/her own personal power in attempts to get along with the borderline and in attempts to have some peace. It's the go-along to get-along song. Many non borderlines find themselves in codependent relationships with borderlines. In codependency, the power drive manifests itself as the need to control the behavior of another person. It takes the form of rescuing, worrying or obsessing over the other person. Mental energy is used to try to control the other person thus ignoring personal responsibility for one's own problems. At its root is distorted thinking.