Copyright © 2007-2010 All rights reserved.
Do you find yourself concealing what you really think or feel because you're afraid of the other person's reaction, and it just doesn't seem worth the horrible fight or hurt
feelings that will surely follow? Has this become so automatic that you have a hard time even identifying what you think or feel?

Feeling like you're walking on eggshells much of the time, and that no matter what you say or do, it will be twisted and used against you.

Being blamed and criticized for everything wrong in the relationship, even when it makes no logical sense.

Being the focus of intense, even violent rages that make no logical sense, alternating with periods when the other person acts perfectly normal and loving.

Feeling like you're being manipulated, controlled or even lied to sometimes.

Feeling like the person you care about sees you as either all good or all bad, with nothing in between. Wishing that the person would act like they used to, when they seemed to love you and think you were perfect and everything was wonderful.

Feeling like the other person is like "Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde": one moment a loving, caring person; another moment someone who seems so vicious you barely recognize them. Wondering which one is "real." Hoping that it's a phase that will go away -- but it doesn't. Feeling like you're on an emotional roller coaster with high highs (things are incredible, fantastic) and very low lows (feeling of despair, depression, grief for the relationship you thought you had).

Being afraid to ask for things in the relationship because you will be told you're too demanding or there is something wrong with you. Being told that your needs are wrong or not important.

Wondering if you're losing your grip on reality because the other person is always putting down or denying your point of view. Plus, the other person often acts just fine in front of other people, so no one believes you when you explain what's going on.

Feeling that nothing you do is ever right, and when you do manage to do what the other person wants, suddenly they change their expectations. The rules keep changing and no matter what you do, you can't win. Feeling helpless and trapped.

Being accused of doing things you never did and saying things you never said. Feeling misunderstood a great deal of the time, and when you try to explain, the other person doesn't believe you.

Being constantly put down, yet when you try to leave the relationship the other person tries to prevent you from leaving in a variety of ways -- anything from declarations of love and promises to change to outright implicit or explicit threats such as "you'll never see the children again" and "no one but me will ever love you."

Having a hard time planning anything (social engagement, etc.) because of the other person's moodiness, impulsiveness or unpredictability. Sometimes, even making excuses for their behavior to other people -- or trying to convince yourself that this is normal behavior.


Are you in a relationship with a person with BPD?